Cyberpunk 2077 received its 1.6 update earlier this week. It was quite a big update, and besides adding an Edgerunners-themed quest, some new cosmetics, new weapons, and long-requested QOL updates like the wardrobe and Ripper Doc cosmetic procedures, it also brought a balance pass to some of the game’s iconic equipment. And buried deep in the patch notes was a line dedicated to the most Iconic of Cyberpunk weapons, Sir John Phallustiff.
Slight spoilers for those who haven’t gotten their Phallustiff, but it’s obtained by completing The Pickup in favor of Meredith Stout and then sending her a flirtatious text afterward. She’ll invite you to the No-Tell Motel where she can thank you in person. After the deed is done, Meredith will leave you Sir John Phallustiff on the bed. Pick it up and you’ll have your very own one-handed club that can be used to beat your targets into submission. Just remember to obtain their express consent first.
Sir John was mostly a gag weapon prior to update 1.6, but now it's received some new effects. First, it deals more damage to NPCs after striking them in the face. Second, it'll have a chance to stun enemies after using a strong attack (frankly, I'm not sure why it doesn't stun enemies who just gaze upon its heft and girth, but maybe something of that size is far more common in the year 2077). And third, simply wielding Sir John Phallustiff will cause your controller to constantly vibrate.
One could have guessed that Sir John was also a vibrator just from its ability to stun and apply shock damage, but now we know for sure.
This week's Night City Wire also revealed Cyberpunk 2077's Phantom Liberty DLC which will bring back Keanu Reeves as Johnny Silverhand. Sadly, it seems like Phantom Liberty will be Cyberpunk's only DLC, and it'll only be on next-gen consoles, PC, and Stadia. However, CD Project Red did hint that we might see a full-on sequel sometime down the line.
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