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Goat Simulator 3: 10 Relatable Things Every Player Does

It's one thing to be considered a G.O.A.T. It's a whole different ballgame to be the goat of all goats – Pilgor. The greatest of all time returns in the long-anticipated sequel to the wacky sandbox game of yore.

When you step into the maniacal hooves of everyone's favorite simulated goat, you can easily become overwhelmed with the desire to do everything you want in the massive sandbox game. And why wouldn’t you? Being the ultimate animal protagonist just hits differently than talking to animals in games. Of course, there are a few pleasures that every Goat Simulator 3 player is guilty of.

10/10 Jump! Jump! Jump!

You can jump over and on anything in Goat Simulator 3, and there’s no doubt you’re going to use your right to do so at every given chance. There are tons of elevated places to explore in the game and, honestly, it’s just fun to bunny-hop (or goat-hop, really) everywhere.

Does it always pay off? Probably not, but it’s still worth the fun of getting those increasingly higher jumps and getting the ground to crack a little. Besides, nobody has time to walk everywhere.

9/10 Gawk At The References

This game is jam-packed with little easter eggs for fans of the first game, movie lovers, and basically anyone who has been alive and not under a rock for the last two decades. It’s always fun to spot a poster or a little item that you know is from “that thing.” You can enjoy the game without relying on these, but it leans into these deliberate nods very well.

Whether you’re a casual player or the type who likes to look for easter eggs, there’s bound to be something that you’ll want to screenshot or at least chuckle at. From explorable places to quest names and equippable gear, there are loads of references that players enjoy.

8/10 Lick And Headbutt Everything

Why not? The game literally rewards randomness and insatiable curiosity, so you can’t help but lick and headbutt everything in sight. More often than not, it ends up netting you goodies like cosmetics, in-game currency, and secret quests.

That said, it’s not really about what you get if we’re being true to ourselves. In true sandbox fashion, Goat Simulator 3 just begs you to bring out that inner chaotic beast. You don’t have to lick every single item and headbutt whatever is in your path, but you’re going to anyway because you can.

7/10 Get Run Over

Just as you can affect the world around you, so can it retaliate back. Tornadoes can whisk you into the air, bystanders can kick you, and cars will inevitably run you over. Thankfully, you can always ram these no-good drivers back if you’re feeling extra petty.

Every player has ragdolled at some point in the game, especially because of an unexpected vehicular bonk. At least the game makes it impossible for you to become roadkill.

6/10 Do Some Dope Air Tricks

Are you a goat or a pro skater? You are both. This game lets you become everything, everywhere, all at once without the emotional turmoil.

When you glide through the sky, you can twist and turn and flip with ease. You can also grind on fences or wires until you hit warp speed. Air tricks are always fun to do whether you’re playing with pals or going it alone.

5/10 Drag Some Poor Fool Around

When you lick a person or animal, you can stay latched onto them for as long as you want. This makes for prime grounds to drag anyone around through high and low. Whether it’s for a mission or simply because you want to have a puppet buddy, it’s impossible to get through the game without dragging some poor fool around.

With the world’s hilarious yet very intentional physics, it’s never a boring time hauling folks around. Your tongue is imbued with the power of the old gods, so you can drag pretty much anything and anyone with no stamina or strength to worry about.

4/10 Play Around With Instincts

Although you’re generally free to do as you like at your own pace, Goat Simulator 3 does encourage the player to do certain actions by way of Instincts. The more you follow your instincts, the more Karma you receive.

Following through on the long list of Instincts never feels like an arduous process because of how naturally it comes into play. Even when players have to exert a little more effort to embrace certain Instincts, it’s still satisfying to accomplish each one.

3/10 Find The Dumbest Possible Things To Do

There is so much dumb stuff to do in this game. It’s part of what makes it so special and delightful. Coffee Stain Studios somehow manages to toe the line between stupid and clever, so players can dive into ridiculous actions and outcomes `without it feeling like no thought or reason was put into making it.

It’s hard not to while away the hours just figuring out what foolishness you can get up to as Pilgor. Few things are as hilarious and strangely captivating as being able to throw a piece of cheese repeatedly into a scaling machine until it’s the size of a car, grinding through fences and wires until you explode, or creating a Swekea portal for Swedes to come through.

2/10 Seek Out Hidden Events

It’s always fun when games have elaborate secrets that inquisitive players can try to find. As many players explore San Angora and bask in the freedom to do what one likes, it’s actually pretty easy to accidentally chance upon one of the many secrets littered throughout the world.

It just makes you want to keep looking to see what you might find. With a world like this one, who wouldn’t want to see what lies in store?

1/10 Try To Get All The Goat Drip

Let’s face it: you can’t help but use up that karma to get those sweet, sweet cosmetics. There’s gear for every part of your body, and you can even find skins that change your entire form. Aside from being able to express your supreme goat personality, a lot of the unlockable gear also come with special abilities.

With a large map and tons of possibilities, it’s great to combine attachments that let you traverse the world more efficiently and interact in unique ways. If you’re gonna be the goat, you might as well look the part.

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