Here’s What Every Mass Effect Character Would Bring To Thanksgiving

I'm English, so I don't really know what Thanksgiving is. It's like a practise Christmas but with no presents, right? I've seen enough television to be aware of the general mythos of Thanksgiving and its origins, but the whole pilgrim imagery around a cutesy family gathering seems a bit odd given the whole genocide thing the pilgrims did afterwards. Also, the last Thursday in November? It sounds like the date when you'd elect a new comptroller, or when some religion I've never heard of dictates you must reap your grain by. But despite this, I'm curious to learn more/bored and need something to write/desperate to appease the SEO gods (pick one), so I'm writing about Thanksgiving. In particular, Mass Effect Thanksgiving.

The idea that everyone brings a dish seems like a fair concept (and downright socialist for the good ol' US of A), but also strikes me as a little bit chaotic. But then, the Mass Effect crew are a little bit chaotic, so maybe that tracks. I'm going to use the full squad from Mass Effect 2, but as is the case for most of the game I'm ignoring the non-combat characters who just sort of wander around. Sorry, Doctor Chakwas. Let's still grab that drink later, yeah?

Related: Game Characters That Would Be Great To Bring For ThanksgivingFirst off, we need the turkey as the centrepiece. Although I know Americans also have an actual centrepiece, which is usually a strange little pumpkin based decoration. In any case, Miranda feels like the head of this household, and our corporate mommy would be the one with the turkey. Alongside the turkey, we have the ever reliable if a little dull mashed potato, brought along by the fairly dull but ever reliable Zaeed. A green bean casserole is equally boring, but it's also terrible, and therefore is suitable for Jacob.

It's all a bit dry right now though, so let's fix that. Jack would bring the gravy, as she could pass this off as a low-effort offering reflective of her cool, cynical attitude to the whole thing, but secretly she will have worked hard on perfecting the recipe. Grunt, meanwhile, will have brought cranberry sauce, canned, which is actually a low-effort offering. Next up, I'll let you in on a little bit of TheGamer lore – the Brits are very confused by the insistence that sweet potatoes (which we usually serve as fries) are actually dessert. I'm equally confused by the attraction you all have to Garrus, so he can bring sweet potatoes covered in marshmallows for some reason.

Stuffing is a vastly underrated part of the Thanksgiving meal that helps tie everything together, so it makes sense that Mordin brings that. Pumpkin pie, meanwhile, is a widely beloved part of the Thanksgiving meal that helps tie everything together, so that feels like a Tali dish. As for Thane, I used to think mac and cheese was a ridiculous accompaniment for Thanksgiving, being unable to imagine having it at Christmas, and seeing Thanksgiving and Christmas as the same. Despite the chaos though, I think I would enjoy it, and with my Legendary edition playthrough converting me to a Thanemancer, I can finally see myself making mac and cheese with Thane.

Samara is a very straightforward person, so I think the simplicity of some nice bread rolls would be her duty. Then you have Legion, who has no taste buds, and would therefore see no issue with bringing sprouts. Kasumi would bring the silverware she previously swiped. She'll steal it back later.

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