Pokemon Smash Or Pass: Kanto Edition

Welcome to TheGamer's latest column, where the editors with the least shame (Editor-in-Chief Stacey Henley, and Tabletop Editor Joe Parlock) discuss every Pokemon in their regional Dex order and each designates them as 'smash' or 'pass'. Stacey is a lesbian and Joe is gay, but Stacey's sexuality could best be described as 'lesbian plus Timothee Chalamet', while Joe's is 'gay and also has a not-so-secret crush on those NFT lions', so between them they cover the spread of Pokemon designs quite well. To keep things interesting, they will each cover all Pokemon but answer alternatively, meaning Joe will answer for Bulbasaur first, then Stacey will answer for Ivysaur first, and so on. They're also aiming for a 25 percent 'smash' rate for each region, to avoid them suddenly growing a sense of dignity and passing on them all.

Alternative forms like Megas, Gigantamax, regional variants, and shinies will not be rated, but may be taken into consideration as Stacey and Joe humiliate themselves with their overall judgement. With the ground rules out of the way, let's begin.

001 Bulbasaur

Joe: Pass, exciting start.

Stacey: Yep, pass.

002 Ivysaur

Stacey: If I had to pick one of the Bulbasaur line… but I don’t, so pass.

Joe: Also pass, it has weird teenager energy I don’t like.

003 Venusaur

Joe: Okay, here we go: smash. It’s got this protective and powerful feeling, which is important when smashing plants.

Stacey: It’s a big ugly frog. Pass.

004 Charmander

Stacey: A lizard and a child. Pass.

Joe: This is absolutely a child, pass.

005 Charmeleon

Joe: Like Ivysaur, this is a gross teenager. Pass.

Stacey: Still passing on everything so far.

006 Charizard

Stacey: This is the first viable option, but I’m still going to pass.

Joe: Coward, smash. I know Charizard isn’t a Dragon-type, but who wouldn’t want to go to bonetown with a mythical creature?

007 Squirtle

Joe: Another child, another pass.

Stacey: Yep, pass.

008 Wartortle

Stacey: Less of a teenager here than a broody twink, but knowing what’s coming up, I’m sticking with pass before a smash streak.

Joe: Wartortle is definitely the most smashable mid-stage evolution for the Kanto starters, but not enough to justify it. Pass.

009 Blastoise

Joe: Absolute smash. Easy smash. Unashamed smash. This is a big, powerful boy you can sink your claws into.

Stacey: I actually think Blastoise is more of a cuddly creature than just raw power, but that said, smash.

010 Caterpie

Stacey: A plastic toy shaped like Caterpie? Maybe. Real thing? Pass.

Joe: Being an actual caterpillar aside, the fronds on the head make it a risky smash, so I’ll pass.

011 Metapod

Joe: Metapod can’t move, which makes this weird and an easy pass.

Stacey: I don’t think we can do these lists without a little curiosity, Joe. I’m going smash, if only to learn how.

012 Butterfree

Stacey: A surprisingly easy smash.

Joe: I get it, I honestly do. But pass.

013 Weedle

Joe: I think Weedle probably has more uses than a Caterpie, and I’m sure the venom is a plus to some. But no thanks, pass.

Stacey: Same answer as Caterpie. Pass.

014 Kakuna

Stacey: I’m not curious enough to double dip, so pass.

Joe: At least Kakuna has arms. Still pass, but being fine with Metapod and not Kakuna sure is a choice.

015 Beedrill

Joe: Another big choice is I’m smashing Beedrill. Those pincers have multiple purposes.

Stacey: Gross and venomous. Pass.

016 Pidgey

Stacey: Literally just a pigeon. Pass.

Joe: I had to think about this more than I care to admit, but I did decide on pass.

017 Pidgeotto

Joe: Pidgeotto has a cool vibe, but pass.

Stacey: Pidgeotto is the most majestic of the trio, a rarity for a mid-stage evo, and again, curiosity. Smash.

018 Pidgeot

Stacey: Pass, in favour of Pidgeotto.

Joe: You can smash more than one bird, you know. Pidgeot’s where it’s at, and I’m smashing all the way to Celadon.

019 Rattata

Joe: Teeth, ew, no. Pass.

Stacey: Honestly, a human-sized Alolan version would be tempting, but ultimately pass.

020 Raticate

Stacey: The worse rat option. Pass.

Joe: One of the worst Pokemon ever designed, pass.

021 Spearow

Joe: Oh hey, it’s less-good-Pidgey. Pass.

Stacey: Easy pass.

022 Fearow

Stacey: Easier pass. Too scary.

Joe: Fearow’s smaller than Pidgeot, which I find weird. And yeah, very scary. Pass.

023 Ekans

Joe: This is another one I get the appeal of, but pass.

Stacey: Basically a baby snake, I see no appeal. Pass.

024 Arbok

Stacey: An adult snake, but I still don’t see the appeal. Pass.

Joe: Smash, big dommy vibes, and this boy is flexible to sweeten the deal.

025 Pikachu

Joe: It’d be cool to say I’d smashed a celebrity, but it is also a mouse. Pass.

Stacey: I have the same problem, Pikachu is basically a movie star. But it’s Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone, so pass.

026 Raichu

Stacey: For the chill Alolan surfer pro, a definite smash.

Joe: Raichu is just washed up Pikachu who isn’t as famous or cute anymore, pass.

027 Sandshrew

Joe: Sandshrew seems like a closed-off and selfish lover, pass.

Stacey: Pass, seems too babified.

028 Sandslash

Stacey: Oh, easy smash.

Joe: A very hesitant smash.

029 Nidoran F

Joe: I am gay, which shouldn’t really matter when this thing is a baby dinosaur, but it does. Pass.

Stacey: Another child. Pass.

030 Nidorina

Stacey: Just like, an older child, right? Pass.

Joe: The mid-stage teenager problem strikes again, pass.

031 Nidoqueen

Joe: I may be gay, but I’m not gay enough to pass up on Nidoqueen. Without a second though, smash that royalty.

Stacey: Yeah Nidoqueen is an easy smash.

032 Nidoran M

Stacey: And the cycle starts again with another child. Pass.

Joe: This is a cool child, but just a cool child. Pass.

033 Nidorino

Joe: Nidorino’s cooler than Nidorina, but that doesn’t make it smashable. Pass.

Stacey: Disagree on it being cooler, agree on the pass.

034 Nidoking

Stacey: Can’t have the queen without the king. Smash.

Joe: Nidoking is one of the most Daddy Pokemon in Gen 1. Easiest smash so far.

035 Clefairy

Joe: It’d be like banging a marshmallow, pass.

Stacey: That doesn’t sound too bad, but still pass.

036 Clefable

Stacey: However, this one is a very easy smash.

Joe: This is Clefairy after the glow-up, smash.

037 Vulpix

Joe: I know “it’s an animal” will apply to the vast majority of Pokemon, but Vulpix is literally just a fox. Pass.

Stacey: Foxes are famously one of the sexiest animals, but this is another widdle baby. Pass, but I love it nonetheless.

038 Ninetales

Stacey: Foxes are famously one of the sexiest animals, I just said it. Smash.

Joe: I feel judged by Ninetales, so pass. I don’t need that in my life.

039 Jigglypuff

Joe: This is just a repeat of Clefairy, right? It’s a marshmallow, pass.

Stacey: If forced, I'd go Jiggly over Clefairy, but still a pass.

040 Wigglytuff

Stacey: Major downgrade on Clefable. A melted Furby. Pass.

Joe: Bratty Clefable, pass.

041 Zubat

Joe: Too many hours in Mt. Moon not to have a few negative feelings towards this bastard. And not even enough for a hate-smash. Pass.

Stacey: Also, it’s a small weird bat. Pass.

042 Golbat

Stacey: A big weird bat. Pass.

Joe: Knowing there are hotter bats in other generations, this is a pass.

043 Oddish

Joe: I don’t go into the garden and screw a turnip, so I’m passing on Oddish.

Stacey: An easy pass.

044 Gloom

Stacey: Followed by an easy smash, I love Gloom’s energy.

Joe: Too much drool, hard pass.

045 Vileplume

Joe: Vileplume is famously stinky, so pass.

Stacey: Gloom was enough, pass.

046 Paras

Stacey: No one wants crabs. Pass.

Joe: Pincers and those weird, gross mandibles make me not even want to look at this thing. Pass.

047 Parasect

Joe: With the mandibles gone and a chill stoner vibe, it’s a smash for Parasect.

Stacey: This is basically necrophilia, it’s dead and controlled by the mushroom. Pass.

048 Venonat

Stacey: A tougher choice than it should be, but pass.

Joe: Throw this on the “I get it, but pass” pile.

049 Venomoth

Joe: Not exactly a Beedrill, is it? Pass.

Stacey: Ugly Butterfree. Pass.

050 Diglett

Stacey: That’s floor shit right there. Pass.

Joe: Flared base, though. Smash.

051 Dugtrio

Joe: There is too much of a good thing, pass. Especially for the Alolan ones with the wigs.

Stacey: That’s three floor shits. Pass.

052 Meowth

Stacey: It can talk and that’s cool, but none of the six million variants are smashable. Pass.

Joe: I could maybe stretch to Galarian Meowth if pressed, but pass.

053 Persian

Joe: Persian would call me slurs and I’d be fine with that. Smash.

Stacey: You have to smash. I would judge you if you didn’t.

054 Psyduck

Stacey: I would judge you if you did. Pass.

Joe: I feel too sorry for it to smash. Pass.

055 Golduck

Joe: On the other hand, Golduck is an easy smash.

Stacey: Ticks a lot of boxes for my usual smashes, but doesn’t quite work. Pass.

056 Mankey

Stacey: Another pass. Ugly.

Joe: Mankey sucks, pass.

057 Primeape

Joe: I’ve seen guys who look like Primeape on a few apps. Smash.

Stacey: Primeape makes me want to shout “but I can change him!”, and I think it’s a one-off and regretful smash.

058 Growlithe

Stacey: Growlithe is best friends with the cops. Pass.

Joe: ACAB. Pass.

059 Arcanine

Joe: Considering my track record so far, you’d think Arcanine would be a smash, but it’s just too dog-like. Pass.

Stacey: I see it, but I don’t want it. Pass.

060 Poliwag

Stacey: How would this even work? Pass.

Joe: I’m sure someone would find a way, but that person is not me. Pass.

061 Poliwhirl

Joe: Poliwhirl is a slightly hesitant smash, I’m curious to see what this eager chap can do.

Stacey: Like a Victorian urchin crossed with a hypnotic frog. Pass.

062 Poliwrath

Stacey: Oh god yes, smash.

Joe: This is Poliwhirl with confidence, incredibly easy smash.

063 Abra

Joe: Abra ghosts you before you can arrange the hook-up. Pass.

Stacey: Also it’s ugly. Pass.

064 Kadabra

Stacey: A mid-stage that avoids the teenage problem, but also seems like it’s weirdly into magic tricks and calls its mother to tell it how much it loves her during your date. Pass.

Joe: Some Pokedex entries also call it a young boy whose psychic powers turned him into a Pokemon, so pass.

065 Alakazam

Joe: No young-boy-in-a-pokemon’s-body qualms here, smash.

Stacey: Another one that I see, but can’t commit to. Pass.

066 Machop

Stacey: A little boy. Pass.

Joe: A little boy that looks too much like Morph. Pass.

067 Machoke

Joe: By far the easiest, most enthusiastic smash in all of gen 1. A mega-smash. A long, committed relationship full of smashing. Machoke is hot.

Stacey: I wouldn’t go that far, but it’s the horse to bet on in the Machop line. Easy smash.

068 Machamp

Stacey: It’s no Machoke, but we’re still smashing.

Joe: Agreed, smash, but I’m thinking of Machoke while doing the deed.

069 Bellsprout

Joe: There’s utility here, but it’s a plant. Pass.

Stacey: Yeah, nothing doing here. Pass.

070 Weepinbell

Stacey: Just a head, which makes it too weird. Pass.

Joe: This has the same ethical problems as Kakuna. It can’t move, therefore I will pass.

071 Victreebel

Joe: Don’t the plants these are based on have digestive juices or something? I’m not going anywhere near that, pass.

Stacey: Unless you’re into vore, this is a complete waste of a Pokemon line. Pass.

072 Tentacool

Stacey: Water Zubat. Pass.

Joe: I’m not averse to jellyfish, but pass.

073 Tentacruel

Joe: There are better jellyfish later on, pass.

Stacey: I am averse to jellyfish. Pass.

074 Geodude

Stacey: A rock that is somehow also a child. Pass.

Joe: I don’t get child vibes off Geodude. This is a short king, smash.

075 Graveler

Joe: I’m shocked that Geodude is the most smashable line for me so far, but it’s a smash on Graveler too.

Stacey: Joe is taking the lead by a distance, but I can’t bring myself to make it with a rock. Pass.

076 Golem

Stacey: Pass. This whole line is a waste of my time.

Joe: We’re officially half-way through this generation, but I wouldn’t smash Kantonian Golem. Alolan Golem, though? Smash.

077 Ponyta

Joe: I don’t like horses, the fact they’re easily scared and have hammers on their feet freaks me out. Pass.

Stacey: I’m a horse girl and I’m seizing my moment. Smash.

078 Rapidash

Stacey: Obviously. Maybe my number one pick for this Gen? Majestic. Glorious. Powerful. Tender. Smash.

Joe: I get it, I really do. But it’s a horse. Pass.

079 Slowpoke

Joe: This feels illegal, pass.

Stacey: Yeah, the ethics, above all else, make this a pass.

080 Slowbro

Stacey: I still think it’s uncomfortable. Pass.

Joe: Slightly more justifiable than a Slowpoke, but not by much. Pass.

081 Magnemite

Joe: How? Pass.

Stacey: Yep, pass.

082 Magneton

Stacey: Controversially, I think three sentient magnetic orbs sounds like an invitation not to be missed. An experimental smash.

Joe: A Biblically Accurate Smash.

083 Farfetch'd

Joe: Geodude gives off the short king energy I like, Farfetch’d is just Short Man Syndrome personified. Pass.

Stacey: Also, it’s just a duck. Pass.

084 Doduo

Stacey: Ostriches are my biggest fear, irrational as that is for someone in the north of England. Pass.

Joe: Doduo’s two heads give me an existential crisis, pass.

085 Dodrio

Joe: The fact that one head splits into two when it evolves from Doduo is an immediate ick, so pass.

Stacey: Pass, a worse Doduo.

086 Seel

Stacey: Like Vulpix, I just don’t love it that way. Pass.

Joe: Seel is a child, pass.

087 Dewgong

Joe: I’m very torn on this one, so I’m going to say smash and hope I don’t regret it later.

Stacey: I’m not torn. Smash, for sure.

088 Grimer

Stacey: There are a lot of Poison-types and other dangers we’re basically ignoring. Assuming Grimer is non-toxic and would cause no harm, I’m going smash.

Joe: Grimer looks too eager. He’s so excited to be having sex that he does nothing for me, pass.

089 Muk

Joe: On the other hand, Muk’s been around the block a few times. The thought of sinking into his goopy body afterwards is too good an opportunity to pass up on, so smash.

Stacey: A bigger, messier, probably warmer Grimer. For sure a smash.

090 Shellder

Stacey: Looks like it poses an immediate danger to any and all body parts. Pass.

Joe: This is an awkward A&E visit waiting to happen, pass.

091 Cloyster

Joe: Not even touching this nightmare, pass.

Stacey: Despite the obvious design inspiration, it again feels too dangerous to risk. Pass.

092 Gastly

Stacey: A ball of gas does not sound like a fun time. Pass.

Joe: Gastly is a child, pass.

093 Haunter

Joe: Haunter is the hottest one of this line by far, but he also seems like the meanest. It’s a smash, but he’s not as smashable as he could be if he dropped the mean act.

Stacey: The meanness is obviously part of the appeal. Smash.

094 Gengar

Stacey: The toughest one so far, Gengy is an all time favourite and I have a stuffed Gengar on my desk. Hot, but I don’t want to risk our friendship. Pass.

Joe: I have no problem smashing Gengar, on the other hand.

095 Onix

Joe: Even I’m not that brave, pass.

Stacey: Gotta pass.

096 Drowzee

Stacey: Literally a pedo abducting kids, right? Pass for sure.

Joe: He’s waist-high in shit, pass.

097 Hypno

Joe: There’s appeal there for sure, but Hypno creeps me out. Pass.

Stacey: Weird and gross, easy pass.

098 Krabby

Stacey: Pretend I saved my crabs joke for now, when there’s an actual crab. Anyway, pass.

Joe: After horses, crabs are my least favourite animal. Pass.

099 Kingler

Joe: Oh look, an even scarier crab. Pass.

Stacey: An easy pass, no chance.

100 Voltorb

Stacey: For the same reason as Magnemite, smash.

Joe: Strong eyebrows, but… how? Pass.

101 Electrode

Joe: He lost the eyebrows, the one appealing thing about Voltorb. Pass.

Stacey: And for the same reason as Voltorb, smash.

102 Exeggcute

Stacey: It’s eggs, and they’re not even all fresh. Pass.

Joe: It looks painful to be an Exeggcute and I wouldn’t be able to look past that one smashed-up one. Pass.

103 Exeggutor

Joe: Purely for the experience, this is a smash. Bonus points if it’s Alolan.

Stacey: Fat or tall, it’s still just a goofy tree. Pass.

104 Cubone

Stacey: Sad child. Pass.

Joe: Absolutely not, this is an orphan. Pass.

105 Marowak

Joe: The fact Cubone never ditched the skull is weird. Pass.

Stacey: Kantonian is Mommy, Alolan is Daddy, and Stacey makes three. Smash.

106 Hitmonlee

Stacey: Pass, I came over here to see if your brother was single.

Joe: If you won’t have him, I will. Smash.

107 Hitmonchan

Joe: It’s probably bad I’m using “too human” as an excuse, but Hitmonchan is too human. Pass.

Stacey: Obviously an easy smash.

108 Lickitung

Stacey: But not quite as obvious as this one. Smash for sure.

Joe: It feels like a waste of time even asking us this one, of course it’s a smash.

109 Koffing

Joe: He’s got the same problem as Grimer. He’s too eager. Pass.

Stacey: I had no issue with Grimer but draw the line here. Pass.

110 Weezing

Stacey: Weezing was already a pass, but the Galarian version went from just a regular ball of cancerous gas to a ball of cancerous gas who also operates a factory on child labour. Obvious pass.

Joe: Galarian Weezing is too much of a Tory, but Kantonian has that strong brow game I love. Smash.

111 Rhyhorn

Joe: This line gets a lot better, but Rhyhorn is just a rhino. Pass.

Stacey: The line gets better, then so much worse, but that’s a question for another Gen. Pass.

112 Rhydon

Stacey: The line peaks here, and it’s a smash, but not as enthusiastic as you might expect.

Joe: He’s a not-as-good Nidoking, but when you’re comparing something to actual royalty, you know it’s still a good smash.

113 Chansey

Joe: No. If I wouldn’t smash Exeggcute, why would one big, fleshy egg do it for me? Pass.

Stacey: Yes. Put the nurse’s hat on. Easy smash.

114 Tangela

Stacey: Why the hell not? I think this is a smash too.

Joe: I’ll wait for its big brother in a later gen, pass.

115 Kangaskhan

Joe: Maybe, if the kid can leave the room first. But I don’t think she’d allow it, so pass.

Stacey: I’m on a three-strong smash streak, and I’m on the fence. To keep it going, assuming the kid leaves, I’ll go for smash.

116 Horsea

Stacey: The streak ends. Pass.

Joe: I had to think way too hard about this one, and I don’t want to be weighing up the pros and cons this much for a potential smash, so I’ll pass.

117 Seadra

Joe: Seadra scares me, pass.

Stacey: This line will have its moment, but not here. Pass.

118 Goldeen

Stacey: Pass, just a fish with a spike.

Joe: The most just-a-fish fish Pokemon out there, pass.

119 Seaking

Joe: Being a king doesn’t save Seaking. Pass.

Stacey: King of the stupid ugly fish. Woohoo. Pass.

120 Staryu

Stacey: Curious, but I’ll wait. Pass.

Joe: I’m dubious this thing could even be sentient if it tried, so pass.

121 Starmie

Joe: I get it more than I get Staryu, but it’s still a pass.

Stacey: I get it way more than Staryu. Smash.

122 Mr. Mime

Stacey: Absolutely not. Pass.

Joe: Now hold on one second. I’d smash either of them just to say I had, but there’s a lot to appreciate about Galarian Mr. Mime. Smash.

123 Scyther

Joe: Finally, a bug I can get into, smash.

Stacey: It’s a little scary, but not enough to put me off. Smash.

124 Jynx

Stacey: Smash. Why even ask me?

Joe: Goldeen is looking a lot more appealing now. Pass.

125 Electabuzz

Joe: One of my favourite Pokemon, and it gets even better later on. Definitely smash.

Stacey: Starts bad, gets worse. Pass.

126 Magmar

Stacey: As above. Pass.

Joe: Gross butt-duck-guy-fieri-thing, pass.

127 Pinsir

Joe: If I squint, there’s a smashable bug here, but he just looks angry. Pass.

Stacey: It looks best when I squint so hard I close my eyes. Pass.

128 Tauros

Stacey: For the reasons Joe let Rapidash slip by, I’m passing.

Joe: Tauros is cool, but not smashable. Pass.

129 Magikarp

Joe: I almost want to say yes to give this guy one achievement in his pathetic life, but that’s no foundation for a relationship. Pass.

Stacey: Again, this feels unethical before you consider anything else. Pass.

130 Gyarados

Stacey: A great Pokemon but in no way is it a smashable one. Pass for sure.

Joe: I wouldn’t say there’s no way it could be smashable, but I’m still going to pass.

131 Lapras

Joe: I can’t think of any practical way of doing it, but I’d be willing to try. Smash.

Stacey: I don’t feel worthy of it. Pass.

132 Ditto

Stacey: If it turns into anyone, ideal. If it turns into me, I’m down for that. If it stays as it is, nah. Two out of three means this is a smash.

Joe: I’d never considered it potentially turning into me, which is a risk I can’t take. Pass.

133 Eevee

Joe: Too much like a baby, pass.

Stacey: Yep, another child. Pass.

134 Vaporeon

Stacey: We’ve all read it. You’d have to try it. Smash, in the name of science.

Joe: This is one experience I’m willing to skip on. Pass, he’s too slippery.

135 Jolteon

Joe: Jolteon is my favourite Eeveelution, but that doesn’t mean I’d smash him. Pass.

Stacey: Too spiky, so it has to be a pass.

136 Flareon

Stacey: You’d need a control Eeveelution for the Vaporeon experiment, so smash for science once more.

Joe: I admire the rigorous scientific method, but I’m also not smashing Flareon, sorry.

137 Porygon

Joe: The boy. The lad. My favourite Pokemon out of all 1008 of them, Porygon is an absolute champion. I wouldn’t smash him, mind, but I just needed to show some love before Stacey immediately tears down this wonderful specimen. Pass, but fondly.

Stacey: You fucked my beloved Gengar, then immediately ditched him, but I’ll show Porygon more grace. I just don’t understand how it would work physically – is Porygon not just a hologram or a program or some kind of computer gram? Anyway, pass.

138 Omanyte

Stacey: Pass, most fossil Pokemon will be a pass.

Joe: We do not shag the historical artifacts. Pass.

139 Omastar

Joe: We still do not shag the historical artifacts. Pass.

Stacey: Way too scary as well. Pass.

140 Kabuto

Stacey: No chance. Pass.

Joe: I used to have an actual, visceral phobia of horseshoe crabs. I’m over it now, but not enough to smash Kabuto. Pass.

141 Kabutops

Joe: The most smashable of the fossil Pokemon, and boy does he sure have abs. But it’s still a horseshoe crab, so pass.

Stacey: Agree with everything Joe said, and I’m landing on pass all the same.

142 Aerodactyl

Stacey: Kind of get it, I suppose, but not for me. Pass.

Joe: The mouth puts me off, it’s too freakishly big. Pass.

143 Snorlax

Joe: Oh come on, easy smash. A big boy up for cuddling after is the dream.

Stacey: I knew Joe would smash, just as he knew I would not. Pass.

144 Articuno

Stacey: I feel you have to pick one of the Legendary birds at least, and Articuno is the front runner by a distance, so smash.

Joe: Pass on Kantonian Articuno, he seems a bit bland. Galarian Articuno has the same slur-calling appeal as Persian though, so it’s an overall smash.

145 Zapdos

Joe: I love Zapdos to bits, but smashing it would be uncomfortable. It’s too spiky in both forms, pass.

Stacey: I’m satisfied with Articuno. Pass.

146 Moltres

Stacey: The worst of the three. Pass again.

Joe: If I had to smash one of them, it’d be Kantonian Moltres, but I don’t particularly want to. Galarian Moltres is an easy pass too.

147 Dratini

Joe: If you just wait for it to evolve, it’d look a lot less baby-like. Pass.

Stacey: Agree with that logic, so that’s an easy pass…

148 Dragonair

Stacey: …followed by an easy smash.

Joe: I get it, but I’m going to hold out a little bit longer. Pass.

149 Dragonite

Joe: There we go, the time has come for me to smash. He looks very kind.

Stacey: I prefer Dragonair, to the point where this evolution makes me sad, smash-wise. A pass.

150 Mewtwo

Stacey: When the question is ‘do you want to smash a god’, what the god looks like is unimportant. Smash.

Joe: The sticking point is that gross second neck. I think I can overlook it, but god is it gross. Smash, but don’t turn the lights on.

151 Mew

Joe: There is a point where ‘it’s an all-powerful being’ doesn’t work as a reason to smash, and I think Mew is it. Pass.

Stacey: Yeah I want to caveat my earlier rule to add the asterisk of ‘not if they’re a child’, so pass. We end as we started – opting not to smash a child.

Final Score

Joe: 38/151 (25.17 percent)

Stacey: 39/151 (25.83 percent)

We made our 25 percent threshold, we win! But also, it feels like we lose. Join us for Johto next week.

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