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You Should Really Read The User Agreement For Cyberpunk 2077

Cyberpunk 2077 arrives on December 10, or December 9 in the evening if you’re lucky enough to live in North America. The game is available for preload on PlayStation, Xbox, and PC, and we’re already discovering that Cyberpunk will have a certain sense of humor about it.

For example, if you try to load into the game now before release day, you’ll be greeted by Johnny Silverhand telling you to go back to sleep and wait for December 10. And then there’s the user agreement that everyone needs to hit the “I agree” button.

Even if you haven’t decided to install Cyberpunk 2077 yet, we can thank Ksamhow for posting this gem on the Cyberpunk subreddit. Unlike most end-user agreements, Cyberpunk 2077’s doesn’t start off with a whole bunch of legalese that makes your eyes glaze over the moment you start reading.

Instead, it’s written in the tone of a straight-talking Nomad who knows how to interpret corpo speak into something that the average person can understand.

“Alright, so this load of corpo talk on the left is actually pretty simple,” the EULA starts off. “It’s kinda like a safety manual for a new piece of cyberware (like anyone reads those, right?). So I’m here to make it real easy to understand.”

Right at the top is the Age Restrictions and Content Warning, which is something that most gamers have laughed at even when they were still young enough for age restrictions to even apply. Cyberpunk basically takes the exact same tone as one of those gamers trying to tell someone to pay attention to age limits.

“This is cute. So, the game’s got this ‘minimum age rating’ okay? So if ya wanna get into Night City — I’m tryna keep a straight face here–you gotta be above that rating.”

Cyberpunk 2077 is an extremely adult-oriented game, if the genital customization and red-light district weren’t already a dead give away. There’s also graphic blood and violence, and getting new cyberware installed isn’t without its own special brand of body horror.

Cyberpunk 2077 is available for PC on GOG.COM, Steam and Epic, Xbox One, Xbox Series X|S, PlayStation 4, PlayStation 5, and Stadia from December 10, 2020. When you buy Cyberpunk 2077 on GOG.COM, 100% of your money goes to CD PROJEKT Group and supports their future projects.

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