It occasionally troubled the major that Hilary’s staunch loyalty had led him into hair-raising exploits at Gerald’s side, for he was perfectly aware that Hilary would not have dreamed of deserting him. ‘Will you stop hedging? I’m hanged if I go on with this ridiculous cat and mouse game. And here he was, but a hundred yards away, this wastrel who trailed his genius through the mud. But he was now too deeply moved to trace a certain unsatisfactoriness to its source in a mixture of metaphors. Why didn’t I die? Why does God hate me so? Why does He not want me? I didn’t die because I’m weak, because I am cursed! I hate this poisoned world! But most of all. She saw her aunt in tears, her father white-faced and hard hit. “Allow me. She could not hide her face.
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